But sometimes that compensation prohibits the building of strength. Loose muscles cannot support a skeletal frame…even a titanium reinforced one. Here I am now with a task that was made more difficult by my subconscious drive to return to full functioning as quickly as possible. Pushing past the wobbly steps and delegating the work to my capable left leg led to atrophied muscles.
See, the bruising of bones and muscles lingers long after the outward appearance is whole. And I am, once again, overwhelmed by another metaphor revealed in the brokenness of my body. The hidden weaknesses have to be acknowledged, and addressed, and given the time and attention needed so strengthening can occur. Left alone, they will not improve; they will worsen.
Within my heart I tend toward that same short-term solution mentality – to the detriment of long-term growth. I cover my temper tantrums with the excuses of sleeplessness, pain and/or hormones; I avoid conflict, rather than learn to speak the truth in love; I “take care of myself” when the hard thing would be to lay down my life for my family. Each time I choose the easy way, a muscle gets a bit weaker with misuse. And atrophy is a frightening prospect.
However, I’ve learned the other side in PT, as well. My right leg, once too weak to even initiate motion from a prone position, can now endure three weighted sets of 10 lifts! They are still dreadful, and too many days I make internal deals to put them off until the last minute before bed is upon me—lecturing my own leg, “It will be harder tomorrow if you skip today.” I am stronger, but only because I submitted to addressing the weakness. Long-term, I want to be well – not merely appear so.
"Every valley shall be exalted, and every mountain and hill shall be made low; and the crooked shall be made straight, and the rough places plain..." Isaiah 40:4
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