Not Acceptable

I value relationships where conversations go deep -- and ripple outward long after the visit has passed.  It was my privilege to have one of those times this Wednesday, dissecting the poverty and constraint of words.  A fellow bibliophile and wordsmith, my iced tea companion summed it up. 
"Sometimes words are too limiting, so there is nothing to say." 

I read voraciously, consume information from the modern potpourri that is the internet, and converse daily with intelligent people on a broad range of topics.  I deliberately vary my vocabulary. 

However, as my friend so keenly observed, our communication can be warped by words.
That, at least, was my takeaway.  It was poignantly applicable these last few days as my own careless speech created a mess that impacted dozens of people.  My first thought was to flee the country.  "Plan B" involved moving to another state, followed rapidly by a scheme to quit my job and never see anyone again.

When I stand on my own, I fall.  When I glory in myself, I am disgraced.  
Failure is humiliating.
Letting people down feels dreadful, and notoriety compounds the agony.  

However, something vital happens when I am stripped of my robes of self-righteousness: I have to run to Jesus for covering.  I hide where I should have been all along, and from that vantage point I begin the hard conversations from which I am not exempt, even though there are too few words.   

Who can discern his errors?
Declare me innocent from hidden faults.
Keep back your servant also from presumptuous sins;
let them not have dominion over me!
Then I shall be blameless,
and innocent of great transgression.

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be acceptable in your sight,
O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.      Psalm 19